An Unexpected Journey

September 7, 2012 by 6 Comments

Sometimes, I write. I will write a short story, an essay, a news article, or even begin a book. Then, I stumble upon something from Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings and just lose all faith in myself. I’ve been told I’m a great writer, but how can I accept such a compliment with things like THIS staring me in the face?

“Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”

Image

Then, I remember what the same man wrote.

“I am dreading the publication, for it will be impossible not to mind what is said. I have exposed my heart to be shot at.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

Even the greatest fear their shortcomings. We should always keep this in mind.

Stay humble and passionate,
Jake

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Things That Make Lish Cringe #2: Raccoon Eyeliner

May 7, 2012 by 2 Comments

Have you ever been walking down the street or across campus or looking in someone’s windows and thought to yourself, “Man, that girl is wearing too much eyeliner!”? Well I certainly have, and it always concerns me and makes me want to rid that woman’s house of every kind of black makeup that she owns, because it’s not that hard to get crafty with mascara or eyeshadow or nail polish. Okay maybe not nail polish, but you get what I’m saying. Because this phenomenon is all too common, I am dedicating this post to Raccoon Eyeliner.

You may be asking yourself, ‘What is ‘raccoon eyeliner’? I’ve never seen that color at the makeup counter at Walgreens!’ Well that’s probably because it’s not a color, it’s a fashion trend I don’t understand. Here’s an example:

From left to right: Avril Lavigne, a raccoon on the red carpet, Taylor Momsen

Don’t even get me started on the trainwreck that Taylor Momsen presents us with in that picture. I mean, what makes you wake up one morning and say, ‘I have to go to a red carpet event, let me slop on the eyeliner so I look like a fucking vampire,’? I just don’t get it.
Taylor Momsen aside, this look doesn’t work on anybody. All of those little scene girls running around with their colored hair, choppy layers, and raccoon eyeliner just need to stop. At the very least, just stop wearing the eyeliner. It makes you look stupid. Which you undoubtedly are.
Whether you’re scene or you just don’t have any mirrors in your house, this makeup trend is something that needs to be stopped. I wouldn’t say it’s worse than leggings as pants, but it’s pretty damn bad. Buy some makeup remover and take that shit off of your face. Unless you actually are a raccoon. Then please, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing.

Slut.

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Top 10 Things I’m Slowly Learning (But Will Never Accept)

May 7, 2012 by Leave a comment

10. People think video games are only for children.
I won’t go into this one too much, but I do find it sad. The general public is blind to gaming culture. The video game is a medium, just like a book or a movie, that helps us experience stories. I plan on devoting an entire article to this soon, so I won’t go into detail. Just know that I am livid about this.

Japanese box art for Heavy Rain

9. I will never be able to watch every horror film I own.
There are literally hundreds of them…almost one thousand. At the rate I’m going, I will never have time to finish them all. Eventually, I will have an entire week devoted to watching as many of these beauties as possible, but only God knows when that week will occur. On a side note, I finished my Freddy and Jason collections this week! I’m pretty excited about that, actually.

Fun times…

8. McDonald’s is bad for me.
 I am counting this one, despite the fact that I am well aware of it. The McDouble is the bane of my existence…and the McBagel will be the final nail in my coffin. I am trying to eat more healthy, but I’m not sure their salads are very good either…

Pretty much anything on the menu will kill you.

7. I am petrified of failure.
 This is not a fear that most people bring up in casual conversation. I love spiders, I’m fine being alone in the dark, and I can play Amnesia for more than ten minutes without having a seizure. However, give me a large task to do that hundreds of people are going to judge me for…and I will lose all composure. The greatest minds who ever lived have stated that failure is inevitable. For some reason, I’m having trouble accepting that. I am of at least average intelligence and I believe there is some very real talent in me. I just don’t know exactly what that looks like. You cannot make everyone happy. Some people love The Godfather. Some people find it boring. I guess I am just worried that no one will like the things I do. From the posts I write on this site to the upcoming film projects I’m doing, I am scared out of my mind, thinking of the reactions they might receive. So, I thank you for at least giving me a chance, whether you like my writing or not.

6. The “magic of Hollywood” died years ago.
Perhaps this makes me an elitist, but there is a certain something about old-school Hollywood that may be gone forever. Yes, fantastic movies are still being released. Every year, we see interesting, original films come out of that place…and yet, something is missing. I think, maybe, that it has something to do with media, ironically. The combination of paparazzi-style news and enlightenment via internet have tainted our view of film. It’s sort of like magic before the 1900′s. It was a thing of wonder and excitement…until everyone found out that it was fake. Then, it was dead. Forever.

I said, “Forever.”, right?

5. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is never coming back.
Some of you may not be aware of MST3K, but I assure you it was a popular show, in its time. It consisted of one human (Joel or Mike, depending on the season) and two robots (Servo and Crow) watching a bad movie…and commentating on it throughout. It made bad movies hilarious and horrible movies bearable. It lasted ten glorious seasons. While it could take you awhile to watch all ten seasons, all the shorts, and any other specials they had, that is simply not enough! Yes, we now have Riff Trax and Cinematic Titanic to present us with this beautiful art form, but the point here is exposure. How many people go to rifftrax.com or pay to see Cinematic Titanic live? NOT MANY! This little problem could be fixed, however, by bringing Mystery Science Theater 3000 back to television. They could even air old episodes to get the younger audience ready for the new seasons. Personally, I think this could work. At least give it a chance. Television lets me down a lot though. If Whitney gets picked up for a second season, I’m quitting cable for life.

Explain yourselves, NBC…

4. I’m not the funniest person in the room.
Let’s get one thing straight. I do not have self-esteem issues. I honestly think I’m a moderately funny person. (Less so when I’m tired.) I have a quick whit that, like most, occasionally works against the person using it. However, there are comedic geniuses out there that I will never come close to. Even the great Billy Crystal once said he could never be as quick as Robin Williams…and I personally think Billy is one of the best. My ego is much like the ego of any normal male. Often, I look around a room, assessing the other guys. Who has the most masculine chin? Do any of them have better hair than me? (Probably not…) This is a common practice among males, oddly enough.

As is this…

3. Scripts don’t just write themselves.
Some of you (hopefully) may be aware that I have been actively trying to enter the film world. More particularly, I would like to be a director. It seems easy, right? Write a script, find actors, film, edit, release. Easiest thing you can do in the course of a day! For some reason, I am having trouble with the first step. Obviously, I don’t hate writing. I rather enjoy it. So, these scripts should flow freely from my mind. Honestly, they are. An idea for a movie forces its way out of me about once every ten minutes. I even write these ideas down on paper. A week passes before I pick up that paper again…and when I do, it sounds like the worst idea in the entire world! Perhaps this is normal for writers, but it is more than crippling my would be talents. I cannot rely on others to help me write these scripts. Many people are willing, but I need to show myself and those around me that I am fully capable of forming an acceptable script by myself. That is what I plan to do this week. I may even post it on here, for evaluation purposes.

 

2. People like big words.
This is, by far, the most difficult one for me to accept. It is also a much broader topic than just large words. It is pretension, in general. (That one doesn’t count!) For the most part, the public is easily courted by big words and a fast tongue. (No sexual connotations, I promise.) Whether they are trying to explain how physics play a large role in rugby or how “coffee is the most artisinal bean”, these people are constantly trying to convince the world they have slept with Noah Webster, himself. I would be completely fine with this, if the world wasn’t so eager to support this lifestyle. They eat it up! Many of these pretentious “cool kids” (or so we’ll call them) are legitimately intelligent. The problem is that they want those around them to see and care how intelligent they are. If you can complete an order from McDonald’s without asking, “How much it is?”, most people will automatically assume you are of at least moderate intelligence. Basically, I am talking to these people directly. I want you to stop with these fake personas and just live, not caring how you sound to those around you. I guarantee that it will make you a happier person. Remember: Knowledge and wisdom are two very different things.

Irrelevant, but I am SO tired of this guy…

1. Nobody has any idea what they are doing.
From the beginning of life, up until about two years ago, I assumed people naturally became so good at a set task that it was second nature to them and required little-to-no focus. I was wrong. Many people in this world are very good at what they do and rarely have to question themselves. However, they DO question themselves. This was never a plausible situation to me, apparently. You go to school. You get a good job. You master that job, right? No! Nobody masters anything. Most of the wonderful things we do in this world are either by chance or have severe flaws. It is human nature to be flawed. That is what makes the fruits of our labor so much sweeter, is it not? When I first started working in retail, I learned very quickly that nothing is a perfect science. Dealing with customers is as subjective as it gets! People don’t always want the cheerful employee who chats with them about life and music. Sometimes, they want the stern, authoritative person who can get them out of the store as quickly as possible. It is all relative to the individual and his or her current situation. The same goes for anything else. Almost everything is relative. I would post my theories on the subject, but I’m fairly certain it has been well recorded already.

I’m not saying it was Einstein…
…but it was Einstein.

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Inspirational Sports Music

April 25, 2012 by 2 Comments

As I write this I am currently listening to This Will Destroy You.

Anybody that knows me knows that I have an obsession with instrumental music.  All in all it drives them crazy.  I love it.  I think the reason why i get so passionate about this genre of music is because there are very little to no words when it is playing.  I don’t want to hear how life sucks right now or how I could make things better.  That is what’s so great about this type of music.  It all comes down to interpretation.  Now, I can understand a lot of songs can have interpretation but not as much as just straight up music. (Definition of song and music.  One has lyrics.  One does not.)  Nothing will ever compare to listening to instrumental music when it comes to emotions going wild or I just need a breather.  It seems to have such a high impact on my life and at times I don’t even notice it.  I seem to be humming a tune when I am just standing around being bored or playing the music in my head when there is complete silence.  This type of music has such a big part of my life that it seems like my worries can be gone at times if I choose them to be.  Some of these bands will have audio from movies or TV shows that go along so perfectly with the tone they are portraying.  This type of stuff really gets you thinking.

Most times when I express my love for this kind of stuff I get the usual answer:  ”I listen to this when I sleep” or “I listen to this when I study”.  When I ask them if they do it outside of that I typically hear one answer. No. This always stinks to hear.  I feel like most people don’t give these bands enough of a try past the usual I need this music to focus on homework or something.  This music can make you even more awake then you were once before.  With interpretation you end up making all of these thoughts in your head spill out like I am doing right now.  It is something that gets your mind provoked and speaking.  I’ve never been more amazed by fans of a band when it comes to seeing this kind of music in a live setting.  Everyone gets into it with their eyes closed and their bodies moving.  Everyone seems to be at peace and that is what I love the most.  Everyone is there for one sole purpose. Music.

Finally one of the last things this music does to me.  It helps me get creative.  I can’t tell you how many times I have basically played a movie or life situation in my head because of the music playing.  I can see everything that would be happening in that scene and how the music guides the whole tone of that scene or the whole movie in general.  It seems like at times you can just make an entire movie off of some of these albums due to the way they all have this perfect blend.  They are telling a story without words.  It’s magnificent.

I could probably blab on and on about this subject but my grammar seems to be terrible this late.  I hope this gives you some sort of inspiration to be able to give this type of music more of a try.  Listen to it constantly and let your self become accustom to it. I hope this was a decent first post from me.  It is late and I wanted to try something out.

Bands to listen to: (post rock, post metal, whatever you want to call it genre)

  1. This Will Destroy You
  2. Explosions in the Sky
  3. If These Trees Could Talk
  4. Mogwai
  5. Godspeed You! Black Emperor (Use audio from interviews and other media)
  6. Maybeshewill (Use audio from movies)
  7. Sigur Ros (Instrumental and lyrics.  They are so beautiful)
  8. Caspian
  9. 65daysofstatic
  10. Sleepmakeswave

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Things That Make Lish Cringe #1: Leggings as Pants

April 25, 2012 by 3 Comments

This fad is probably the one that makes me cringe the most. It is unflattering on all that attempt to wear it, and yet people continue to pull on their nearly see-through bottoms and flaunt their butt dimples all over town. And don’t act like you don’t know what butt dimples are. You know. And if you don’t, let me help you visualize it.

This is what you look like from the back, offenders.

To leggings-as-pants-wearers: I bet you didn’t realize that you looked like that from the back, did you? Well now you know how unflattering your derrière looks when you commit this fashion crime!
Now you may be saying, ‘I’m super thin and toned! I don’t have butt dimples!’ Okay, that’s wonderful. That brings me to a couple of other reasons why wearing leggings as pants should be avoided at all costs.
Leggings are made of a very thin material. The lighter in color they are, the more transparent they appear to be. But regardless of the color of your leggings, they are going to be skin tight and cling to you. This is where a problem is presented.
Nobody wants to see your pantyline. It’s a fact. It’s gross and bulgy and just looks bad. On the reverse, nobody wants to know if you aren’t wearing any underwear, and a lack of pantyline through leggings is a dead giveaway that you are going commando. Underwear or not, I do not want to know what you’ve got going on under those leggings and chances are, nobody else wants to know either. So do us all a favor and wear pants or a dress. Please. You’ve reduced me to begging.
Another thing that leggings have the ability to conjure up is the dreaded front wedgie. If I am in class and a girl comes strutting in on a camel, I am going to notice. Same concept. Same animal, even. Do you want that to be what people notice about you? No you don’t! YOU DON’T WANT THAT!
Now you might say to me, ‘Alysia, why are you looking at girls’ butts and front wedgies?’ My answer is simple. If you have it out there for me to look at it, I’m going to notice it. So keep it out of my line of sight, or better yet, out of your life completely.
I’m not saying to get rid of leggings completely. No! They are a good item to have in a wardrobe! But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t wear them as pants! Wear them with a dress or with a skirt, or even a long tunic, but please keep your butt covered. I don’t want to have to gauge my eyes out.
For your camel,
Alysia

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Love?

April 8, 2012 by 8 Comments

Love - When two single people of the opposite sex meet for the first time…four things happen.
1) They make eye contact.
2) They assess eachother through body language.
3) They audibly (or physically, if they are mute) attempt communication.
4) They decide whether the person looking at them is a good candidate for a boyfriend/girlfriend.

If you say, “No, Jake…that’s not true at all!”, you are lying to yourself. Whether the person you meet is ugly or beautiful…or just sort of a halfsy, you make sure to know if that person is worth talking to again…and on what level.

(+20 points for those of you who doubt me. You’ll need the points later.)

Here’s where I break it off. I will talk to girls first and guys second…extending to them the lessons I’ve learned and things I wish them to know as separate genders.

Dear Ladies,

STOP! Before you do anything else with your time…STOP! Think about the men in your life who really care about you. I’m not talking about your hawt new catch that just bought you a diamond-embroidered (read: cubic zirconium) necklace or that guy from your History class who flirted with you earlier because “what his girlfriend doesn’t know, can’t hurt her”. NO. I’m talking about the guy sitting next to you…the one who doesn’t try to touch you inappropriately…the one who talks you through every trial in your life…the one who wants to solve all of your problems, but doesn’t because he has at least an ounce of tact…the one who can read you like a book. So, change out of that mini-skirt/halter-top with the LONG neckline combo and into an outfit that leaves a little something to the imagination. While boys are attracted to skin and cleavage…men are attracted to studying habits and tact. Think about the last time you had a crush on someone. Was he the guy who talks too much in class, wears WAY too much cologne, hits on the teacher, and wears that ever-so-adorable pink polo? If the answer is “no”…you’re good to go. You have this whole “reality” thing figured out. (+30 points) If the answer was “yes”, then you have failed. You probably have a history of this.

I went there...

You’re not seeing the big picture. The guys who flirt with you (and your friends) constantly and make advances in ways you never even knew existed are the same guys who will eventually sit in their lazyboys every sunday, watch the big game, and yell at their wives to get them a beer. I mean, if you’re into that sort of “intimate” relationship, then go ahead…be my guest. If you want a real man who won’t abandon you, who won’t cheat on you, and who won’t ever let you open a door yourself…you need to look at the humble guys. “OMG, Jake!”, you may say. “Those guys are like really ugly and probably play video games and don’t even buy energy drinks!” Yes, you’re right. They DON’T care about their appearances, they DO play video games, and they DON’T buy energy drinks. Here’s the thing: That “nobody” you call a mutual friend probably cleans up a lot better than you think. Also, most gamers tend to have a more affectionate side. (That’s for you, Zach.) You aren’t looking hard enough. Since when do girls have to fight for the affection of men? Why can’t you just be worth it? Why do you have to degrade yourselves to please us? Why do you fall for these guys that will only cause you trouble? Don’t pretend you can’t see trouble coming. You are FEMALES! You know when something bad is about to happen. It is in your genes. You say girls are smarter than boys. Then start acting like it! Find a guy who would voluntarily watch Sleepless in Seattle with you…a guy who would cover your legs with blankets and not his hands…a guy who shows you love like you’ve never known before. If you keep falling for these cheap, brainless, too-tan-to-be-natural tools (I liked that one…), you’ll end up alone time after time. (+15 points for singing the Cyndi Lauper song.) My main concern here is this: You are looking for a man with passion…with strength…a guy who is accessible to you…a man who speaks his mind. You want a guy who is…and you girls never can stress this enough…”CONFIDENT!!!!!!!” Guess what, girls? Confidence doesn’t matter if he’s not willing to listen to you. Confidence is something everyone looks for in a mate, but you have taken it too far. You girls have become so shallow…so willing to accept the first thing you see. Who could blame you though? We’ve given you nothing but level of extroversion to play on. The more confident the guy is, the more girls will talk to him. How do you think Flavor Flav does it? I leave you with this thought: Don’t settle for what you see immediately in front of you. Actively seek a real man. Let the guys around you who aren’t quite “The Situation” know that they are one small life change away from being desirable.

Dear dudes,

This probably pertains to you:


If you have found yourself in ^this^ situation, you’ll find this interesting. Ladies aren’t going out with these “jerks” because that stud earring is appealing or because Axe smells good. (It doesn’t.) They date guys like that because they are CONFIDENT. Give a nerd a dating sim and he’ll love for a day. (Or until he beats it.) Give a nerd the ability to date actual girls and he’ll love for the rest of his life. (-20 points if you’ve actually played a dating sim.) I’m simply implying that you need to get your voice out there. If you are worried about sounding like an idiot, that’s ohkay. Every guy sounds like an idiot the second he opens his mouth. Don’t worry if the cute girl in the corner only laughs at buff guy’s jokes. Think of some better jokes to tell…or play off of his jokes. Also, I highly recommend this article: http://www.cracked.com/article_18670_5-widely-believed-dating-myths-science-says-arent-true.html See, girls love humor. The only thing they love more than humor is creativity. You can be the funniest guy in the entire world and not know how to create a good mood. If you can’t plan a fun date, write her a beautiful love letter, or interact with her ever-changing thoughts continuously, you’re screwed. Girls are less interested in appearance than you think. Ever watch the King of Queens? (Me either.) What I’m saying is…with some personal touch-ups and a few hours of Project Runway every week, you could have that cute brunette swooning over you and your out-of-shape, unappealing body. Don’t get me wrong. Girls appreciate self-respect (including appearance) just as much as we do. Keep that in mind. Most of us (self-aware nerd types) can look moderately attractive, given the right tools. I know what you’re thinking. “But Jake…how can I be fashionable and sexy? I am but a poor student with nothing to give but my Level 70 Druid!” (-20 points if you can name the game I’m most likely referring to.) Well…there’s not much I can do about your “special problem”, but I can tell you that interacting with the female race is a healthy and normal activity in today’s society. I tell you this as a once-introverted male. I have seen the light, my friends! Trust me. Those scary, muscly guys from Jr. High grew up…and guess what!…they’re just as dumb now as they were then. Only, this time, you can win! You can talk to these girls. You can make them feel good about themselves. You can be gentlemen and open doors and be charming. You can show them what a real man is. Just don’t get too close too quick or they’ll take you for something completely different…

Homework for the week:
Girls – Look around you and find these “gentlemen”.
Boys – Get confident and talk to that hottie in Spanish. Maybe even ask her what she’s doing this weekend.

Love and successful relationships,
Jacob

Filed under Jacob Writes Good

Neil Gaiman

April 7, 2012 by Leave a comment

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. -Neil Gaiman.

 

Neil Gaiman has become one of my favorite authors recently, simply for his quotes like this. There’s not much I can really say about the man. He is exceptionally quirky, witty and a brilliant creator. For people who have never read one of his books, I suggest Neverwhere or American Gods. For anyone who loves Graphic Novels, try Sandman. I’ll try and come up with something original later, but for now I leave this.

Filed under Drew Pretends to be Deep. Tagged with , ,

Halloween 2.0

March 27, 2012 by 4 Comments

If you couldn’t tell by the color scheme of Tenrock Studios and the background image with the autumn theme, Halloween is my favorite holiday.

Obviously.

To me, this holiday filled with candy and fear is just another escape from reality. There is something so pure and so beautiful about Halloween. From the first day of October until the last house turns its porch light off on the 31st, I am engrossed in the spirit of all that is horror. The decorations come out, AMC starts “Fear Fest”, I go through about fifty of my own horror films, and I find every decent haunted house from here to St. Louis. (And some terrible ones, unfortunately…)

There is a certain type of magic you can feel on Halloween that no other day possesses. I think that comes from the mystery of the unknown. Like The Twilight Zone and countless sci-fi films have shown us over the years, the unknown is both the scariest and most interesting part of life. For an entire day, we all become something/somebody else.

See…I find that a little odd. Just one day? Why? This is something I would probably do every other day, given the chance. So, I am trying to change that. What happens both six months before and after Halloween? You guessed it: April 30th! Henceforth, April 30th shall be known as Halloween 2.0! It will be exactly like the original Halloween, but with warmer weather. Not only does it make life more fun for everyone, but it helps the economy! Hear me out on this one. What prevents people from investing more time and money into Halloween? It only happens once a year! Why buy an expensive mask you can only wear to a couple of parties during the last week in October? That’s not financially savvy. However, if people get to break out the ol’ Batman costume a second time, they may opt for a better/more expensive solution than the cheap Walmart knock-off. This is obviously just a theory. I am not and have never been an economic genius.

Not ok.

I would love some feedback on this! Would you be willing to participate in Halloween 2.0? Is there a better date I could have picked? What would you do differently on this day?

I highly encourage hosting horror film parties on this day, also.

With Love and Horror,
Jacob Smith

Filed under Jacob Writes Good

Decatur

March 26, 2012 by 3 Comments

I recently read a few descriptions of Decatur, IL. Here is my response:

Let me just get this out of the way. Most (what can loosely be called) descriptions of Decatur have everything to do with why nobody cares about this place. You should never sugarcoat facts. Making Decatur seem legitimately inhabitable should not be as hard as using vague phrases that could describe literally every other Midwestern town. In the last example, the author states, “Decatur…is a place where people don’t just work, they work hard.” Personal issues with this writer’s pretentious phrasing aside, he/she most likely pulled that out of an early Stephen King novel; very early.

Decatur is not a beautiful place. It is not the town every man is proud to settle into with his family. The writers are so focused on trying to make this place seem like a normal town that they forget how different it is. Downtown Springfield, Champaign, and Bloomington are sprawling business centers full of crowds, culture, and money. Downtown Decatur is all but dead. The tax rate is too high for most businesses, the limited parking poses a massive problem for any would-be major events, and there are five one way streets for every main road. Whoever built this place was either masochistic or insane; probably both. “Sadistic” could easily work there as well. Either way, this place is a sinkhole.

Now that you understand where I am coming from, let me say this. Decatur is my hometown and I love it with every God fearing, red neck bone in my body. I will give the authors of these articles one point: The people of Decatur are interesting. We don’t have mountains, waterfalls, or exotic wildlife here. We have human beings. If focus is shifted completely to the people of this city, a story is born. Ask any person who has lived in Decatur his or her whole life. There are stories upon stories of how this place became the corn field-ridden toilet it is now. ADM keeps us entertaining with its scandals. The Staley viaduct, which I refuse to call “Tate and Lyle viaduct”, keeps our sinuses in check. This is one of the most interesting places in the state of Illinois.

They mention “year-round fun for the whole family” in the first article. Unless Walmart is letting us test drive the bicycles now, I am not entirely sure what they are talking about. Where is that water park they were building out by the Decatur Conference Center? Maybe Decatur is a lifeless, overeager town full of empty promises and failed dreams. That is why I love and hate this place. It is a reflection of myself. It is imperfect. There will always be politics and people who get in the way of its success. There it is. It took me four paragraphs and seven cans of Yoo-hoo to figure it out, but I finally know what Decatur is.

Decatur is hope! It is the promise of a brighter tomorrow! Just like any town, this is a place someone can start all over. The difference is that failure is literally surrounding you. Every citizen in this dump is waiting for that one person who can change it all, that one idea that can push us forward. Until then, we wait by the polluted waters and semi-tolerable golf courses of the town we love to hate.

Love,
One of the only ten people who haven’t moved away yet

Works Cited -
(Article 1: From “Decatur Area Convention and Vistors’ Bureau” website, c. 2001)
( Article 2:  From “The Chamber of Commerce for Decatur and Macon County” website, c. 2001)
(Article 3: Excerpt from “A Plant Closes and a Way of Life Fades” New York Times 14 December 2001)
(Article 4: Excerpt from “Town on a String” The New Yorker 30 October 2000)

Filed under Jacob Writes Good

I Should Be Asleep Right Now: Episode I

March 26, 2012 by 2 Comments

It’s 2:16 AM (Central US Time). What blows my mind is how lazy I am. I honestly don’t think I have the strength to make it to the bed. Given how uncomfortable the chair I’m sitting in is, there is absolutely no way I could sleep in this thing. Also, my house is frigid. I’ll be right back…

I knew it! The thermostat is at 64. Do you know what that’s like? Imagine that you are outside in the middle of a snow storm, on the side of a highway. Take all of your clothes off. Now, bury your head in the snow. As soon as a semi-truck flies by and ice shoots from the sides of the trailer, whipping every exposed body part you have, you will know half of what I’m feeling right now. Maybe that was unnecessary, but I want you to understand why I am still awake.

On any other night, I stay up because my mind is restless. Tonight, my mind is barely functioning. What little thought process there is going on up there is devoted to keeping my eyelids open and my fingers typing. Perhaps my problem is that I feel like I need to say something, but I have very little to share with the world tonight. I did learn a new word today though! True story! The word is “electronical”. Apparently, it’s slang for “electrical” and/or “electronic”. A crack addict taught me that today. Four years of college and I have yet to retain a single fact I’ve learned there. Twenty minutes at a second-hand electronics store could teach you everything you need to know about life. I’m convinced of that.

I think that is about all I can manage to squeeze out of my brain tonight. It has been a great first day for tenrockstudios.com and I absolutely love the feedback I have personally received. Thank you, everyone!

Your Fearless Leader,
Jacob

Filed under Jacob Writes Good

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